September is gone. Good riddance.
Today was absolutely beautiful, and I happily spent most of the day watching three children. Afterwards, I did a little shopping! The weather was a little on the chilly side, so I decided to celebrate by visiting Frank at work...and new boots
While all of that was fun, my favorite part of the day was speaking to my family for the first time in nearly a month. I've really missed them, but I just wasn't ready to talk. Every morning I check my phone to make sure no one else is gone... I knew if I didn't call, I could make up an imaginary world where everything was normal and everyone was safe. I cannot handle any more loss.
Lately, I've been thinking a lot about loss. Why are we such dependent creatures? Why are we capable of loving something that's perishable? We end up loving someone more than we love ourselves only to lose them along the way. I have nightmares about losing Frank.
For a while, I thought maybe it would be better to be alone. That way you'd never have to say goodbye. Never mourn and grieve. But then I realized I would miss all those memories that I cherish so much. Like Poppy's endless loop of stories or Indy's adorable rollover trick.
So, I suppose Tennyson was right.
"Tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all."
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