Five Minutes

I'm embarrassed to say this, but my apartment is a clean freak's nightmare, nay, a clean freak's hell. Words cannot express the joy I have for my newly cleaned kitchen. How could I let things get so out of control? What kind of adult am I? What kind of woman am I? The kitchen and the bathroom are tied for first place in the "most disgusting room" category. I know. It's horrible.

The words, "If you would just spend five minutes," continue ringing in my head. And it's true. Five minutes of cleaning everyday would prevent kitchen war zones from happening in the future. I desperately need to devise a plan to force myself to clean. Every. Single. Day. Especially since we decided to renew our lease for another year. :/ That's right. I could end up driving to ____ that's ___minutes away if I get a teaching position for the fall. Honestly, what else was I supposed to do? Move in with my parents where there are NO PART TIME JOBS (especially now that most of my hometown doesn't even exist)? Leave Frank here to pay for an apartment on his own? Not happening. We had to make an immediate decision...so we did.

Anywho, back to my sanitation/organization pilgrimage:

Last year, a friend mentioned a website called FlyLady.net. She used the site to organize her house and set up a routine when she moved in. I gave it a try several months ago, but, as usual, did not visit/use it regularly. So, I will make a billionth second attempt to organize my life and keep this place clean.

Fingers crossed.

Patience Apathy Is A Virtue

Last post: April 5, 2011?... Please, allow me to explain.

I... um...eh...you see...the thing is... I just don't have anything interesting to say. There. I said it.

The most exciting story worth sharing is our trip to Huntsville (yes, again) this weekend. We made this trip to attend a surprise party for our friend J. Our friends J and B live in a cute little neighborhood outside the city. I really enjoy spending time with them, but I always leave feeling, shall we say, slacker-ish. Both J and B have "grown up" jobs. Especially B whom we lovingly refer to as our "rocket scientist friend." Why? Because she is a rocket scientist.

In my defense, they are a few years older than me. But it is so difficult to NOT be jealous of their grown-up-esque home and their brand new vehicles. Don't get me wrong, I live a happy life. I have a healthy body, strong relationship, and the ability to pay my bills. Still, I can't help but think there should be more. Much more.

While my job at TCDC is providing me with more hours and higher pay than any other part time job, it leaves me feeling like a teenager. Last week, my friend said to me, "Child care/rearing = your life." And... I really don't want that to be the case. The women there treat me as if I have never even been around a child.

"We have to clean the table." (Didn't you see me do that every other day this week?)

"You must close the lid on the diaper wipes." (I always do.)

"This is how to put her to sleep." (You obviously don't remember the previous 30,000 hours I have spent in this room at nap time.)

I might pull out all my hair. I recently realized that I want control of my own class. I spent many hours and many dollars preparing for that very situation. Sometimes I feel like I'm rushing things. Other days, I feel like I'm waiting for something to happen instead of making it happen.

So many of my friends are successful and it leaves me thinking, "Your life is so mediocre. You could have been/can be so much more."

Am I patiently awaiting the perfect opportunity or am I passively watching my life go by without any real effort to better it.