And the Home of the Brave

Happy Independence Day to all!

This is my second favorite holiday. My first is New Year's! I think I have a thing for fireworks.

Why I love Facebook...

We live in a world where technology has become a necessity. What's the first thing you do when you wake up every morning? For me it's 1. brush teeth 2. eat breakfast/check Facebook. My Facebook is FULL of memories, inside jokes, and people I will never forget. I'm the girl that's kept a journal since 11th grade. I'm obsessed with reading old entries and seeing my old statuses.

This application: http://www.facebook.com/apps/application.php?id=54715426813 gathers every status update since August 2008! Here are some of my favorite statuses of 2010...

Samantha : When you relinquish the desire to control your future, you can have more happiness. -Nicole Kidman (Mon, 04 Jan 2010 16:19:30 GMT)

Samantha Dear maintenance men, The statement "Sorry to wake you" does not grant you permission to be loud with your stupid walkie-talkie phones. (Tue, 05 Jan 2010 16:09:54 GMT)

Samantha : Dear BlazerNET, I don't mean to hurt your feelings, but you are a complete and total failure. Best wishes, Sam (Fri, 08 Jan 2010 19:30:48 GMT)

Samantha : You're outta milk so I just used Guinness instead. -Frank James (Sun, 10 Jan 2010 03:50:11 GMT)

Samantha Dear Laundry, Look... We're all very busy people, but most of us still manage to take responsibility for ourselves. I'm really disappointed in the way you've let yourself go. Sincerely, Sam (Wed, 13 Jan 2010 16:14:35 GMT)

Samantha Why are you wearing a helmet? Because i'm dangerous. -drew morton (Sat, 16 Jan 2010 08:15:53 GMT)

Samantha : Only Forest Gump could patch my wounded heart right now. My stupid f#*&ing computer ripped a hole in my FAVORITE pair of jeans. FML (Mon, 25 Jan 2010 04:01:29 GMT)

Samantha : What doesn't kill you only makes you want to dropkick whoever said, "What doesn't kill you makes you stronger." (Fri, 29 Jan 2010 18:43:54 GMT)

Samantha : You know it's going to be a great day when your power goes off at 9am and then you hear some idiot scream, "Hey Fred! Let's get it on!" (Mon, 01 Feb 2010 15:48:05 GMT)

Samantha 's neighbors are smoking pot and listening to the Whisper Song and I'm On a Boat. (Thu, 04 Feb 2010 05:16:54 GMT)

Samantha : We're so arrogant, aren't we? So afraid of age, we do everything we can to prevent it. We don't realize what a privilege it is to grow old with someone. Someone who doesn't drive you to commit murder or doesn't humiliate you beyond repair. ~P.S. I Love You (Fri, 05 Feb 2010 01:44:51 GMT)

Samantha : Winter, just stop it. No one cares what you think. (Tue, 09 Feb 2010 18:44:37 GMT)

Samantha 's neighbors seem to be having a... good morning. (Wed, 10 Feb 2010 16:53:07 GMT)

Samantha : pom pom genocide.- Elisha Gentle (Sun, 21 Feb 2010 01:13:07 GMT)

Samantha : The way you can cut a rug - Watchin' you's the only drug I need! SO GANGSTER, I'M SO THUG! You're the only one I'm dreamin' of! (Thu, 04 Mar 2010 17:32:01 GMT)

Samantha : T minus 12 hours to OOOOOooooooooooklahoma. (Sat, 06 Mar 2010 22:01:27 GMT)

Samantha : Pee smells too after a while. - Elisha Gentle (Sun, 07 Mar 2010 10:15:59 GMT)
Samantha is in Arkansas. It's... Ugly. (Sun, 07 Mar 2010 16:36:36 GMT)

Samantha :Time for fun... The mandatory kind. (Mon, 08 Mar 2010 17:06:23 GMT)

Samantha : OoooOOooklahoma where the... nothing goes sweeping down the... nothing! But Go Blazers! (Wed, 10 Mar 2010 02:20:55 GMT)

Samantha Elevators are fun. (Wed, 10 Mar 2010 07:43:28 GMT)

Samantha : "Johnetta, I'm judging you right now." - Christina Varghese (Wed, 10 Mar 2010 16:13:22 GMT)

Samantha got spirit! Yes, she do! GMFLB! CONFERENCE TOURNAMENT! HERE WE COME! (Thu, 11 Mar 2010 03:52:05 GMT)

Samantha : Erica: i just took two tylenol and don't know why. Dad: Give me some. (Mon, 15 Mar 2010 02:47:00 GMT)

Samantha is being kidnapped by Elisha Gentle. (Tue, 23 Mar 2010 02:09:54 GMT)

Samantha : "If I had a dollar for every time I saw the ice cream truck and DIDN'T have a dollar... I'd have a lot of ice cream." - Kelsey Hoggatt (Wed, 24 Mar 2010 17:49:35 GMT)

Samantha : Janetta Lockhart is a jury parade hog. (Tue, 30 Mar 2010 20:12:04 GMT)

Samantha : Weird... For some reason I think this is EXACTLY how P. Diddy feels when he wakes up in the morning. Interesting. (Wed, 31 Mar 2010 13:39:12 GMT)

Samantha just heard a reporter refer to Sarah Palin as "Caribou Barbie." Fantastic. (Tue, 06 Apr 2010 22:49:49 GMT)

Samantha would like to thank the criminally insane human that invented buttered popcorn jelly beans. (Thu, 08 Apr 2010 01:11:24 GMT)

Samantha is driving through highlands covered in glow sticks! (Mon, 12 Apr 2010 03:54:49 GMT)

Samantha : I've hit a dance party overload! Making memories and losing sleep! Wouldn't have it any other way. (Tue, 13 Apr 2010 04:56:27 GMT)

Samantha : I want apathy. I want watermelon. I want pools. I want naps. I want Drum Corps. I want Summer. (Tue, 20 Apr 2010 14:06:57 GMT)

Samantha : I'm watching Barefoot Contessa. Kelsey Hoggatt: You would. 'Diane is about to build us a pagoda.' (Tue, 18 May 2010 21:15:43 GMT)

Summer Ni-IIIIGHTS!

Ah, summer 2010... I love you already. :) The only thing missing is Elisha. He yesterday and won't be back until July. :(

So far, my summer has included parties, a wedding, and a little lifestyle change. On Thursday I finally became a vegetarian. I've been thinking about it for a really long time and I'm so happy I finally did it. The first week has been wonderful. I'm not necessarily doing it for animal rights. It's more of a health issue. There are so many health benefits from being vegetarian. It should be interesting. I'll be sure to keep you updated on my experiences.

In other important news: I gave myself a pedicure. My toes are cute again. AND our pool is open! I might have to do some tanning this week. :)

MAYDAY!

April is gone. What an eventful month!! I hope May has just as much fun in store.

How am I spending my first day of May? I'm being completely lazy while watching movies. I'm on my third movie right now. Yesterday, our cable went out. The internet is working, but the television is not. Awesome. Anyway, now I'm watching Pride and Prejudice and reading articles on Yoga Journal while sweet Penny plays and Odie naps.

I hope this last week of finals goes by quickly and smoothly. Either way... It's almost over and I am THRILLED. I am so ready for something different.

Speaking of different... Yoga seems to be my obsession of the week. Maybe this will end up being more than just a Spring fling. A Summer romance sounds better.



When April steps aside for May,
Like diamonds all the rain-drops glisten;
Fresh violets open every day:
To some new bird each hour we listen.
- Lucy Larcom

A Preview of Summer

Ah! I love Dead Days. No class. No band. No stress. Just fun times to remind you that Summer is just around the corner. Frank and I took another trip to the Birmingham Botanical Gardens. It was so beautiful.

A Penny For Your Thoughts

So, about that surprise...



I would like you to meet Penny. :) This tiny little fur ball is my new baby. Isn't she a cutie?!

Bring May Flowers

It. Is. Raining.

"We been through every kind of rain there is. Little bitty stingin' rain... and big ol' fat rain. Rain that flew in sideways. And sometimes rain even seemed to come straight up from underneath. Shoot, it even rained at night... " -Forrest Gump (aka:Greatest movie of all time.)

But I'm loving every second of it. I watched TV for a while, but eventually decided to turn it off because the sound of the rain is so relaxing. Funny how a STORM can be soothing.

To counteract this peace, I am chugging a Mountain Dew to motivate a little housekeeping. We're having a band banquet after-party tomorrow night and I need some tidying before then. My laundry basket overfloweth... Please, if you have a washer/dryer set in your home do NOT take that for granted. Trekking to the laundromat every time you run out of panties is no bueno.

Ugh. I've officially been stalling. Time to clean for realsies.

P.S. I may have a REALLY big/really tiny surprise later.

So, don't let the rain get you down. Remember! April showers...

(That's What She Said)

Today is, to my knowledge, the last horrible Tuesday I will ever have. No more class piano...No more ASL...I wish I could say the same for Symphony Band and its cursed alto saxophone, but I can't. We're playing for UAB commencement ceremonies on the 8th, so we have to keep rehearsing. With the tunnel ending light in plain sight, I've been able to have a WONDERFUL week. Yesterday was Frank's birthday which we've been celebrating since Saturday. I have had WAY TOO MUCH alcohol pass through my body this week. And by "way too much," I mean the perfect amount. I've also been spending WAY TOO MUCH money lately. But...I have some really awesome things to show for it. We went thrifting on Saturday and I am still so proud of my finds.


These are my ADORABLE new Summer shoes. I need to wear them around the house to break them in a little more...They're a little too small. (Can't read the brand. $4 from Salvation Army)


Brown leather purse! (Fossil. $7 from Super Saver)


I could NOT be any more excited about this purse!!!! I knew I would buy it the SECOND I saw it. But then I opened it to check for a price and this is what I found...

Crazy. ($4!! Super Saver)

All of this makes me excited about the Summer! This is the LAST full week of class! Finals begin next week.

I'M ALMOST THERE!

Gives a Lovely Light

This week has been so wonderfully busy! It wasn't the usually stressful busyness.

Monday and Tuesday were filled with the normal classes.

Wednesday was...interesting. My friend Elisha is an International Business and Arabic major. A few years ago, he started a little Arabic music ensemble and asked me to be the piccolo/flute player. Wednesday we performed for the Alabama Federation for Music Clubs. AKA: A bunch of old ladies that know A LOT about music.

Thursday was so exhausting! First I had symphony band, then I taught a private lesson. After all that we had a woodwind ensembles concert which I bailed on immediately following the flutes' performance. After that, Frank and I went to a birthday party.

Friday I worked in the morning and then had rehearsal at the usual time. That night, Elisha took me to the St. Elias Lebanese Food and Culture Festival. Lots of fun!



I left the festival to get to a double date with my little sorority sister and her boyfriend. We watched "Up in the Air" and had spaghetti.

TODAY. WAS. FANTASTIC. Frank and I participated in the Bromberg's Diamond Dash in search for this...

...A $15,000 Ritani diamond ring! We didn't win, but we had a blast searching for it!

Now I'm taking a break from cleaning the apartment and waiting for Frank to get home from work. We're watching 2012 in HD tonight! I hope next week is equally fabulous.

My candle burns at both its ends;
It will not last the night;
But oh, my foes, and oh, my friends --
It gives a lovely light.

~Edna St. Vincent Millay

Pity Party

This picture is a perfect example of how I feel.

I feel like all of my internal organs are coated with a thick layer of pollen.

I feel like everything is my fault.

I just want to follow this sweet puppy's lead and slam my face down on the floor and be completely unconscious for about two weeks.

(Photo is, of course, courtesy of weheartit.com

Sweet Easter Sunday

O Love that wilt not let me go,
I rest my weary soul in thee;
I give thee back the life I owe,
That in thine ocean depths its flow
May richer, fuller be.
O light that foll’west all my way,
I yield my flick’ring torch to thee;
My heart restores its borrowed ray,
That in thy sunshine’s blaze its day
May brighter, fairer be.
O Joy that seekest me through pain,
I cannot close my heart to thee;
I trace the rainbow through the rain,
And feel the promise is not vain,
That morn shall tearless be.
O Cross that liftest up my head,
I dare not ask to fly from thee;
I lay in dust life’s glory dead,
And from the ground there blossoms red
Life that shall endless be.

Obnox...IOUS!

Rachel Ray... stupid E! News reporters...skanks on campus...

Everyone seems to be getting a little lazy when it comes to finishing their damn words.

Vaca...

Delish...

Fab...

I hate this so, so much.

Now...I hate throwing out negative thoughts without giving a couple good ones.

Enjoy the Ryans and thank God for white button downs.

Just so you know...

I realize I never really share that much actual information about myself. So... I found this little tag.

With as much creativity as you can muster, show your heart in:
1 picture
1 poem
1 song or piece of music
1 phrase or quote
1 item of clothing
1 place
[And just for fun-] 1 Disney princess!

So, here we go.

One Picture: I found this at weheartit and I have been staring at it. I saved it with the title "God" because THIS is where I find Him. Moments like these are where I feel Him.



One Poem: This is a section from The Buried Life. You can find a link to the full poem in an earlier post.

Only--but this is rare--
When a beloved hand is laid in ours,
When, jaded with the rush and glare
Of the interminable hours, 80
Our eyes can in another's eyes read clear,
When our world-deafen'd ear
Is by the tones of a loved voice caress'd--
A bolt is shot back somewhere in our breast,
And a lost pulse of feeling stirs again.
The eye sinks inward, and the heart lies plain,
And what we mean, we say, and what we would, we know.
A man becomes aware of his life's flow,
And hears its winding murmur; and he sees
The meadows where it glides, the sun, the breeze.

One song or piece of music: Right now I am obsess with ...don't hate me... a Dixie Chicks song called Lullaby. The lyrics are precious.

"They didn't have you where I come from. Never knew the best was yet to come. Life began when I saw your face, and I hear your laugh like a serenade."

One phrase or quote:

Be soft. Do not let the world make you hard. Do not let the pain make you hate. Do not let the bitterness steal your sweetness. Take pride that even though the rest of the world may disagree, you still believe it to be a beautiful place. - Unknown

One item of clothing: J.Crew khaki shorts... I wear them as much as possible.



One place: My apartment... because that's the only place I've wanted to be the past few... months. I am the definition of a home body.

One Disney Princess: Rapunzel because she'll be here in NOVEMBER.

On this first day of Spring...

I. Am. So. Poor. This is definitely one thing I will not miss about being a college student. I'm always poor. It really doesn't make any sense. But, I'm doing what I can. Hopefully, things will get better. On a lighter note, my Spring Break has been awesome. Not too eventful... not too boring... Just right. Not to mention it was extended to two whole weeks. My trip to Tulsa lasted much longer than anyone thought it would. We expected to lose within the first couple rounds and come home on Wednesday. Our ladies' basketball team competed in the C-USA Women's championship game! Although we came in 2nd, the game was SO exciting and the trip was perfect. I got exactly what I wanted - To see our basketball team compete in the championship game.

Also, I'm excited to share great news! I have a new laptop!!! After mourning the loss of Gloria (old laptop) for a few weeks, my dad offered to buy me a netbook. I got it yesterday and I love it! It's so tiny and cute. :) And it has a webcam. I'm thrilled.

I'm thankful to have it on days like today... it's pouring rain. Maybe this means the cold weather is leaving for good. I definitely wouldn't be sad about that. I'm going to make the most of this rainy first day of Spring by sitting on my couch with my netbook and some hot chocolate. I'm sensing a nap in my near future.
But for now...

...pictures of rain.

Where the Wind Comes Sweepin' Down the Plain

In approximately twelve hours and fifteen minutes, I will be on my way to Ooooookkkklahoma! You know, where the wind comes sweepin' down the plain. At a brisk 4am, the UAB Blazer Band will begin our 12 hour trek to the CUSA Women's basketball tournament in Tulsa, OK. How exciting! :/ Contrary to popular belief, I'm pretty excited about this trip. My dear friends Johnetta and Elisha will be with me. It's our LAST experience as members of the pep band. We're pretty good at making lemonade from lemons, so I know we won't let this long drive stand in our way. The weather is supposed to be in the low sixties! I do believe Spring is finally showing its face! I packed several pair of shorts just in case.

Also, I'm excited about this trip because I'll be able to add two new states to my "Buried Life" list: Arkansas and Oklahoma (I need to come up with a clever name for my list). Hmm... I think I'll do that later today. I have plenty of free time because Frank used my car to get to work. I'm sad he'll be gone from 4-9:30, but we got to spend some time together this morning/afternoon. Besides, a little alone time is always good. "Absence makes the heart grow fonder." How true. Normally I hate cliche sayings and generalizations, but that one I enjoy... I suppose that's another post all on its own.

Vintage Envy

Lately, I've been a little envious of all these wonderful things you bloggers find in thrift stores! I'm a little bitter that everything I own came from a nearby shopping mall. I fully intend to remedy this as soon as I gather some spare change for "thrifting." After days of being upset over my wardrobe, I realized something... I HAVE genuine vintage items! MY JEWELRY!!! I have several pieces of jewelry that I love more than should be allowed. Two of my vintage items belonged to my mother when she was a young girl. The other is a watch given to me by my great aunt.


This is my beautiful alexandrite ring. My mother's and my birthstone. Her parents gave it to her when she was 13.


The stained glass LOVE charm and heart charm also belonged to my mother.


This watch belonged to my dear great aunt Mary. She gave it to me (in secret) and told my mother not to let her children know I have it. :) She's well into her eighties now.

I have other pieces of jewelry that I plan to pass to my daughter (or daughter-in-law) someday.


This pearl necklace was given to me by my paternal grandmother, Bonnie. I wear it often.


This diamond necklace was a gift from my maternal grandmother, Ellen Dean. She passed away in February 2008 and I miss her dearly. Her absence makes this necklace even more precious.

I can now be fully satisfied with my vintage status. I'll take care of the vintage clothing later.

In Like a Lion... A Really Cold Lion

We all know it's socially acceptable to mourn the loss of a loved one... even if that loved one is the family pet. Does anyone else find themselves mourning after material items? You know you get upset when you stain your favorite shirt or rip your favorite jeans. Is that shallow?! This week I lost my computer. We had a rough life together, but my little Compaq had so much sentimental value. You see, I bought it the year after I graduated high school. I used some money from graduation gifts and some that I had saved on my own. I realize she was getting old, but I really wasn't ready to see her crash like that. Of course, there may still be hope in bringing her back to life, but that would require money and an intelligent human being that wouldn't completely destroy her.

In other news: The beautiful weather has left us standing out in the cold... literally. I apologized to my shorts as I packed them safely in my drawer. I suppose it's the country girl in me that causes me to hate wearing pants and socks. I LOVE the summer months! You will NEVER see me in pants or closed toed shoes unless it is absolutely necessary.


Summer is the time when one sheds one's tensions with one's clothes, and the right kind of day is jeweled balm for the battered spirit. A few of those days and you can become drunk with the belief that all's right with the world. ~Ada Louise Huxtable

Lists

I am a list maker. I have not been very good at keeping up with my lists lately, but I love making them. I used to make a list for everyday... talk about killing trees!!! I don't know what it is I love about them. I think it's just so relieving to cross something off. No matter how trivial it may be, it makes me feel so accomplished to see it disappear.

I've recently become completely obsessed with MTV's The Buried Life. These four guys have created a list of 100 things to do before they die. The show is wonderful and I love every second of it. This show has helped inspire me to create my own list. I began working on it a few weeks ago, and I hope to reach 100 soon. Of course, every item won't be for public viewing ;). Here are a few of the things I've come up with...

1. Get a college degree.
2. Live alone.
3. Kiss in the rain.
4. Stop biting my nails.
5. Plant a tree.
6. Save a life.
7. Change a life.
8. Marry my one and only.
9. Have a baby... with my one and only.
10. Visit all 50 states.
11. Go to Paris.
12. Befriend someone I don't like
15. Sacrifice my Christmas gifts to provide for a family in need.
16. Become a GOOD cook.
17. Complete "The One Hundred"…On my own terms.
18. Have something named after me.
19. Own all the Disney Classics
20. Write in my journal every day for a year.
21. Take a photo of myself every day for a year.
23. Learn how to drive a stick shift.

I strongly suggest making a list like this for yourself. Goals (however trivial) are always important. The show's name comes from a poem (of the same name) written by Matthew Arnold. Here are a few lines...

But often, in the world's most crowded streets,
But often, in the din of strife,
There rises an unspeakable desire
After the knowledge of our buried life;
A thirst to spend our fire and restless force
In tracking out our true, original course;
A longing to inquire
Into the mystery of this heart which beats
So wild, so deep in us--to know
Whence our lives come and where they go.

Lovely...

Today has been wonderful. I don't even know why. I woke up in a REALLY good mood, had fun in aerobics, and spent most of the day with my boys.



Wind Symphony was the only thing on my to-do list for the day. I have a feeling my wonderful mood had something to do with the wonderful weather! Alabama has seen an insane amount of snow this year! I'm sure it wouldn't seem like much to northerners, but it's a big deal for us.



Today, however, has been absolutely beautiful! We had high of 56 and plenty of sunshine. I am a summer girl. I LOVE warm weather. So, I made the most of it by wearing SHORTS. It felt so good! Apparently, next week will be just as warm. I look forward to more outfits like this...

Breakin' Up Is Hard To Do

These past few weeks have been completely miserable. My previous post was only a taste of the array of emotions running through my body. I know how it feels to prepare for the end of something important, but I don't know how to deal with an ending that should not have happened. It is easy to convince ourselves that our relationships are perfect or a result of fate. Usually, our feelings are results of infatuation instead of actual love. And believe me, I know what infatuation feels like. I know how it feels to have something ripped from you without warning, but this time... nothing could prepare me for the pain.

A few weeks ago, my boyfriend broke up with me. I had felt some obvious tension earlier this year, but I never really thought it would happen. You see, we were so wonderful together. We have similar interests and we genuinely enjoy being around each other. He ended things to get his life in perspective. He needed to figure our what he wanted from life, and couldn't make a clear decision under the pressure of our relationship. While all of that sounds like complete and total crap, I believe him. I truly believe it is necessary to ensure YOUR happiness before you can make another person happy.

This break up was painful. I just couldn't seem to let it go. My usually strategy is to self destruct. AKA: Shut down my emotions for the other person. This method had GREAT success in my previous relationship. This time was different. I found myself shutting down for mere minutes only to return to my obsession. I just could not let go. On Saturday, I could feel myself shutting down. I was broken and ready to give up. I knew my love for him would stay, but my efforts to get him back had ended.

Saturday afternoon he suggested that we take a trip to our favorite mall. I was excited to do some shopping with him, so I agreed. I was grumpy and filled with road rage on this busy highway. Without warning, he says, "So, I've been thinking. There are many fun things that I enjoy doing...but none of them are as fun as being your boyfriend. I would like to be your boyfriend again."

...Speechless... Emotional... Blubbering...

In conclusion, when you love someone... you KNOW it. You feel it all over your body. Do not give up. Do not let go. Do not withhold your feelings. He may not come back on a white horse. He may not call to you from beneath your balcony, but he will come back.

Resolutions...

Ah, the dreaded resolution. It's the time of year for crowded gyms and sudden spikes in water bottle and diet pill sales. But... not for me. No ma'am. Every year on December 31st I take a look at myself and say "What is wrong with me?" or "What do I need to fix?" And how often have I been able to answer/solve those questions? Never. I am tired of superficial and shallow resolutions. I am tired of focusing on bodily imperfections and personality flaws. This year my resolutions are different. No more "Stop drinking caffeine" or "Lose 5 inches." This year it's all about happiness and living life. I decided to look back on 2009 and find out what could have made it better. Would it have been better if I were 10 pounds lighter? NO! Would it have been better if I craved Mountain Dew every second of every day? NO! 2009... was 2009. No regrets, no confessions. However, my experiences of 2009 have contributed to my guidelines for the wilderness that is 2010.



1. Stop procrastinating! Do your work. Get it over with...


2. Trust...


3. Stop being jealous. He loves you. Really...


4. Be healthy.


5. Take a picture of yourself and write everyday.


6. Practice, practice, practice.


7. Call home more often.


8. Save your money. Don't be stupid.


9. Be creative.


10. No Stress. Just let go.

Grapes...

I am craving grapes... Preferably frozen grapes. Doesn't that sound delicious?

I am not sure why January 1st feels like a new beginning. Yesterday was yesterday and today is today. Life does not change simply because the numbers on the calendar are different... Or does it? Today was fabulous. Yes. I said it. Fabulous. I have said it before and I will say it again: New Year's is my favorite holiday! No matter what you feel on December 31 at 11:59 pm, the minute the ball drops you feel renewed. Like the planets are aligning for you and you alone. It is a new day and a new chance. And we all know, I am a sucker for second chances. Maybe sucker isn't the right word...

I spent the first hours of my new year lying in bed with my sweetheart. We stayed up until 3 this morning. The party was so much fun. I took so many pictures and I plan to spend the entire year taking more! I love pictures.